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the waiting

I swear, the hardest part of internship is not the long hours or the work load, it’s the waiting–the anticipation of impending pain.  The worst is when you’re sitting there on the eve of a painful 12 day stretch and you can just imagine how bad it’ll be.  Of course it’s never that bad but you can just imagine that it will be. 

All I can think about in those situations is the worst case scenario for each day.  And then I imagine having to deal with that worst case scenario day after day after day.  It never turns out that badly but of course the one time that I assume it won’t turn out that badly, it will. 

Or even a far more benign thing like a good day on the wards.  You know that by the law of averages, it’s only a matter of time before you get the clinical equivalent of a sack of bricks upside the head.  The bad day is coming. 

Yeah yeah, I’m just being neurotic but I’ve heard this from more than a few other co-interns: the anticipation will kill you.

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