the final countdown
So the regular readers of this blog probably thought this post was just going to be the video clip of “the Final Countdown” by Europe that I post every so often, but NO! it’s not! So if you haven’t already flipped back to google, here we go.
Tomorrow I start internship. Crazy. I last wrote about my fear of totally messing up this thing and I appreciate your kind comments suggesting the contrary. At this point, I just want to get in there and fire it up baby. I’ve spent this weekend going in, rounding with the current team, writing orders, learning the system, etc. I put in my first official order as a physician. I called my first consult as a physician. I did my first discharge summary as a physician. I received my first page–well, my first official page from someone else–as a physician. Even better, my first page was back to a number that wasn’t working. That’s not a good sign.
But I’ll make one last comment on the craziness of this all. As medical students we get to write orders occasionally–mostly in advanced rotations (e.g. sub-internships) but those orders are always cosigned. So while you are always approaching the process as though you are the doctor, deep down inside you know that someone will (has to) be double checking you on any little thing that could affect the patient. I suspect the next few weeks won’t be too much different as an intern but quite frankly, my senior residents won’t be able to double everything that will affect the patients’ well-being. So it is with some (serious) thought and rethinking and re-rethinking and re-re-rethinking that I am putting orders in right now. I hope and I suspect that I will build up my confidence with time and experience but for now, I’ll just have to be inefficiently careful to the extreme. Patient wants tylenol? Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. Is there any reason not to give this guy some tylenol? Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. You get the picture. But I’m happy that this kind of thought process is not sustainable throughout residency so at some point, I’ll have to get faster.
Anyway, the last couple of days has seemed cautiously do-able. I’m always discovering some new, critical responsibility that the intern is responsible for on our service, so I hope that I don’t bring the service to a screeching halt tomorrow. But we’ll see. 100% is all I can give.
Wish me luck (although most of you already have, so thanks again).
I’ll write to you from the other side.