i’m number one

OH MY GOD I’M THE GREATEST PERSON ON THE FACE OF THE EARTH!!!

My long held suspicion has been confirmed by the fact that I have achieved the unachievable. Yes, I got ticket # A-01 on my Southwest flight out of Detroit (with some personal details whited out).

I’m pretty sure this ticket means that I am not only number one to get on the plane, but I am also number one in smarts, looks, personality, etc.

Sweet! I always suspected as much but now I have proof. There you have it my peeps.

Wait a minute–don’t pre-boarders get on the plane first? WTF?!!??!?! What the hell does that do to my metaphor? What about the Mudphudder’s status?

This is soooo sad. Just when I thought I had made it… I guess in 60 years when I require wheelchair assistance and require supplemental oxygen as well as a foley catheter, then I’ll truly be number one.